The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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