She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
