I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
