Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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