Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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