Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
