So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you win again, gameday.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
