I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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