The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
