How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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