i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
