Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
