I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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