Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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