"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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