I'm jealous of your bromance
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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