Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
