that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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