He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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