This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
