Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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