TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
