i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
