Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
