This girl is more easily done than said...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
