she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Randomize
