The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
