Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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