If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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