I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
