4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
