I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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