Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
