I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
