I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
