I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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