you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
