so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
so much tequila, so little girl.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize