i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
