I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He has the fingertips of a God
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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