I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
