: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You took a bar mat shot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
