Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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