She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
