she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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