North Korea, Best Korea!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize