I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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