can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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