She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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