I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
